Being in LOVE without Making LOVE

Romance is a very good thing. But just because its good doesn’t mean that we can enjoy it whenever and however we please. Like all other good gifts God has made, romantic love can be misused. Solomon’s bride says “do not awaken or arouse love until it is so desire”.

ROMANCE Vs WISDOM

1.       Romance says, “I want it now! Wisdom urges patience”

Biggest mistakes in relationships were almost all the result of impatience. It takes patience to wait to start a relationship until you are ready to court with purpose. Then after you’ve started a purposeful relationship, you will need patience to make sure it unfolds at a Healthy pace. Impatience rushes everything. It urges us to skip the time and attention a healthy friendship requires and to jump right into emotional and physical intimacy. Time is Gods way of keeping everything from happening all at once. Wisdom calls us to slow down.

2.       Romance says, “this is what I want and it’s good for me.” Wisdom leads us to consider what’s best for the other person.

A selfless desire to do what’s best for the other person can guide us in the big and small decisions of a relationship. It’s not tedious. It’s an expression of sincere love and the defining mark of a Godly relationship. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Ask yourself some personal and sincere questions before you act.

3.       Romance says, “Enjoy the fantasy.” Wisdom calls us to base our emotions and perceptions in reality.

It’s not good to have zeal without knowledge; it’s a one-line summary of Shakespeare’s tragic play Romeo and Juliet and for many misguided romances in real life.

Emotion is a physical expression of how we perceive the status of something we value. Anger, gladness, fear, sadness, joy, jealousy, and hatred are all combinations of our perception and our values. For example two bystanders who witness a dog being hit by a car can experience totally different emotions based on how they perceive the situation and how they value the dog. One who hates dogs might be wickedly glad, while the other person who owns and loves the dog would be overcome with sadness.

In a relationship, if our values are godly and our perception of what we value is accurate, our emotions will be accurate and healthy.

Wisdom calls us to base feelings on accurate information, not on distortions. We need to move beyond typical, artificial dating activities and observe each other in real life settings.

The pleasure of illicit sex—yes, it will feel good; yes it can be exciting. But its pleasure is empty compared to the joys of married love and foolish in light of the dire consequences that visit the soul, body, and emotions.

In relationship, guarding each other’s purity and refraining from sexual intimacy are the acts of lovemaking………. Lust is never satisfied, you can’t bargain with it and come out a winner.

YOU CAN BE IN LOVE WITHOUT MAKING LOVE.

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